Wij laten zien hoe dominantie teams laat krimpen door willekeur en controle.
Door patronen te benoemen en kaders te herstellen, nemen we regie terug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Blogserie 1\/12. Dit is een wekelijkse essayreeks over macht, onderstroom en regie. Geen diagnose, wel scherp zicht op patronen die werk en mensen beschadigen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With amazement and bewilderment, many of us listened this week to Donald\u2019s speech. Just when you think you\u2019ve heard and seen it all, something like this still happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What can you say. There are leaders who make space. And there are leaders who take space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it\u2019s the latter I want to talk about. We meet little Donalds in everyday life, too. And you rarely notice it in one big clash. It starts with small shifts, almost invisible. An agreement that \u201cturns out differently\u201d after all. A decision that, the week after, gets rewritten in a one-to-one. A compliment that\u2019s just a bit too public, as if a chain were being placed around your neck: you belong, but you\u2019re also bound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a while the rhythm develops its own music. Those who stand close to the leader are always right. Those who ask a question get a role: difficult, slow, too principled. And the strange thing is: you start to join in. You shorten your sentences. You prepare meetings as if you need to defend yourself. Without anyone saying it out loud, you trade ambition for caution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day you hear yourself say something you never used to: \u201cNever mind, it\u2019s not worth it.\u201d And in that moment you know: there isn\u2019t just a conversation about work going on. There is a conversation about power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In these situations the word narcissistic sometimes pops up.<\/em>It\u2019s a quick word, a kind of container to park a complex feeling in. I\u2019m careful with it. Not out of softness for the leader, but out of precision for you. A label opens the door to a discussion about someone\u2019s inner world, intentions, childhood, wounds. That\u2019s tempting; it gives meaning to chaos. But it also pulls you into an arena where you have little to win. What you do have influence over is the pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the surface you see unpredictability: rules apply selectively, information is rationed, goals shift, success is claimed, errors are delegated. In the undercurrent something quieter\u2014and therefore more dangerous\u2014happens: people start adapting. Not to the task, but to the capriciousness. Teams grow cautious. Colleagues fall silent. Loyalty is no longer measured in craftsmanship but in compliance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Psychodynamically this is almost classic: where a holding environment is missing, people seek safety. They start pleasing, avoiding, rationalizing. They split the world into allies and enemies because nuance feels too costly. And slowly the moral compass dims: what last month was called crossing a line is now \u201cwell, that\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most insidious part is that this system confirms itself. The leader experiences dissent as attack and increases control. The team experiences control as threat and grows quieter. Silence is read by the leader as consent. And so the rule of the strongest grows into a habit, as if there were never an alternative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is the moment you have to make one choice bigger than you think: will you adapt to arbitrariness, or will you bring the work back to frames larger than one person?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This series is not about \u201cfixing\u201d someone. It is about taking the reins, without illusions. Sometimes that means helping the system remember its own rules. Sometimes it means finding allies and making the dynamic visible. Sometimes it means acknowledging that you\u2019re not the one who can carry an entire organization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t have to fight right away. You also don\u2019t have to leave right away. But you do need a first step that makes reality solid again. Take fifteen minutes and write down three concrete situations from the past month: date, fact, effect. No interpretation, no diagnosis. Only: what happened, and what it cost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then ask yourself, at the end of that page, one quiet question: where have you already started to shrink, while no one asked you to out loud?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Take what fits; leave what doesn\u2019t match your context. Wij laten zien hoe dominantie teams laat krimpen door willekeur en controle.
If this resonates: don\u2019t just discuss it\u2014talk about it with others.
Which single step will bring you, this week, closer to dignity and solid ground?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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