{"id":2453,"date":"2026-03-06T09:17:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-06T09:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/?p=2453"},"modified":"2026-05-14T09:18:00","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T09:18:00","slug":"dealing-with-a-leader-who-bends-rules-and-makes-people-feel-small-7-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/dealing-with-a-leader-who-bends-rules-and-makes-people-feel-small-7-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with a leader who bends rules and makes people feel small 7\/12"},"content":{"rendered":"

We show that dominance thrives on isolation and shame. By consciously seeking allies, we break the silence and share responsibility.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Create an alliance map<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a weekly essay series about power, undercurrents, and agency.
No diagnosis, but a sharp view of patterns that damage work and people.
Read slowly; choose one move you can make today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People who find themselves in a dominant environment often think: I should be able to handle this on my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a heroic thought. And precisely for that reason, it\u2019s dangerous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dominance thrives on isolation. The system prefers ten individuals who each believe they are the only one struggling. Shame does the rest. Shame makes people quiet. Silence becomes agreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is why alliance-building is not a political game, but a form of hygiene. You make visible where influence sits, so you don\u2019t keep pushing in places where nothing moves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t make it bigger than it is. You don\u2019t need to build a camp. You don\u2019t need to forge a coalition. You only need clarity: who formally carries responsibility for standards, safety, compliance, reputation? Who holds informal authority in the culture? Who feels the impact of risks first\u2014customer, quality, safety?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The moment you ask these questions, something shifts. You feel: this is not just my struggle. This is a system that needs to protect itself. And that realization alone removes some of the poison of isolation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychodynamically, this is the movement from personal shame to shared reality. What is shared loses its numbing power. And what can exist in words can also exist in decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start small. One conversation with someone you trust\u2014not to gossip, but to test. \u201cDo you see this pattern too?\u201d \u201cWhat is this doing to your team?\u201d \u201cWhat would be a safe route to address this?\u201d You\u2019ll notice: some will avoid. Some will minimize. Some will sigh with relief. That sigh is how you recognize the silent majority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, make a short list in your head\u2014not on paper if that feels unsafe. A few names. Plan one test conversation. Enter it calmly: you are not looking for allies against someone, you are looking for co-carriers in favor of a norm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then ask yourself: who forms your silent majority, and what would they need in order to move?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take what fits, leave what does not match your context.
If this resonates: don\u2019t discuss it alone, but in the plural.
Which one step brings you closer this week to dignity and containment?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We show that dominance thrives on isolation and shame. By consciously seeking allies, we break the silence and share responsibility.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[81],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-english"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2454,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2453\/revisions\/2454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dbvp.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}