On Antidotes, Anger, and Grief
In this blog, René de Baaij reflects on the aftermath of the pandemic in organisations. He exposes how collective anger and grief settle into systems — and how leadership and dialogue can serve as antidotes to a culture of mistrust.
summary: How do you deal with the invisible tension that lingers in your organisation? In this post-pandemic reflection, René de Baaij explores how collective emotions like anger and grief manifest in culture — and why leadership, dialogue and informal learning are essential to rebuild trust and connection.
Written in May 2022, in the wake of the pandemic, as organisations worldwide faced simmering anger, grief, and a growing call for dialogue and the restoration of trust.
To process the anger and grief that inevitably emerge in organisations, we need dialogue.
On Antidotes, Anger, and Grief
To process the anger and grief that inevitably emerge in organisations, we need a dialogue focused on the strength and vitality that are inherent to people.
Structures, processes, and routines are often (re)designed — quickly and efficiently, thanks to smart technologies and pre-configured systems rolled out by skilled experts. “We, the people in the organisation,” are frequently left bewildered and powerless in the aftermath.
We experience all of this as overwhelming and intimidating. Though we don’t always show it. We cooperate loyally, contribute when asked, and preach the new gospel. But our processing lags behind. Our internal logics — in language, imagery and action — haven’t yet caught up. We feel helpless, frustrated, and long for the way things “used to be.” Eventually, this leads to friction and tension — manifesting in subversive behaviour, unspoken mistrust, gossip, and blame.
These become collective emotions that take root in the collective memory and behaviour of the organisation. Until it feels normal not to trust each other. Normal to speak ill of colleagues. Normal to manipulate and make deals in the shadows. And while these behaviours may be common human reactions, at some point they no longer serve the organisation. What once acted as the informal grease in the machinery becomes toxic — a slow poison in the system. And in us.
Absorbing and processing that poison can, and arguably must, be part of the role of leadership. Sadly, the opposite often occurs — when leaders, consciously or not, end up feeding the very undercurrents of grief and anger they ought to contain.
But other possibilities exist. By restoring dialogue in the organisation, we can seek out what hinders us and what gives us energy again. We can examine our internal logics and align them with the structures already in place. We can bridge opposites, bring people together, and create new connections.
Everything we once used to act out our toxicity — gossip, mistrust, avoidance — we now use to detoxify. We gossip until we see what helps and what doesn’t. We name our mistrust to grow trust. We examine our own behaviour to convert undermining elements into informal effectiveness.
This doesn’t happen on its own. It requires effort, stamina, respect for all involved, and a commitment to the positive. It takes leadership to balance the hard realities of our processes and systems with the soft, unruly realities of our thoughts and actions.
Shared learning begins with meaningful conversation. Shared learning is the antidote.
René de Baaij
